Jokes

This 80 year old woman was arrested for shop lifting. When she went before the judge he asked her, 'What did you steal?' She replied, 'A can of peaches.'The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied that she was hungry. The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can. She replied 6.The judge then said, 'I will then give you 6 days in jail.' Before the judge could actually pronounce the punishment, the woman's husband spoke up and asked the judge if he could say something. The judge said, 'What is it?' The husband said, 'She also stole a can of peas.'

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood.Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house.He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was."This is a brothel", replied the madam."Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man."Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help."If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her.The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."